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Ask Willy

Printed From: Carpet Cleaning Forum
Category: Carpet Cleaners Discussion
Forum Name: Carpet Cleaners Hangout
Forum Description: General discussion on anything related to carpet cleaning
URL: https://www.kleenkuip.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1588
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Topic: Ask Willy
Posted By: Willy Parsons
Subject: Ask Willy
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 9:50am
Doug is damn sick of your stupid questions.

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Certified to be certifiable.



Replies:
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 9:52am

What is the speed of light?



Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 9:57am
Wiily, you take too long to answer. Doug is way quicker. We're gonna have to fire you already


Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 11:01am
Speed of light in the vacuum of space is 186,000 miles per second. Nothing can exceed this speed because as stated in the General theory of relativity, the wieght of a particle reaches infinite mass apon reaching that speed. Light travels in energy form in packets called quanta, which is why it can reach that speed. At the speed of light, time slows to a stop. If you could reach that speed, you would never age.

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: John L
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 12:47pm
Or around 300,000 kilometers per second.....


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 2:41pm
OK, so where's Willy?


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 3:31pm
Willy is asking Ken what happened??

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Just My opinion


Posted By: Rick/Magic
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 5:54pm
OK, willie...if you are in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turned your headlights on, would it do any good?

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25 years of cleaning carpet
and my back hurts


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 10:36pm
Sorry! I'll tell al my customers to F&%@ OFF and sit here all damn day and answer stupid questions from mental midgets.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 11:09pm
Willy: Thanks for helping me out. Your the greatest.  I like you answer right to the point. No grey areas here.

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Just My opinion


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 03/June/2005 at 11:28pm

Originally posted by Willy Parsons Willy Parsons wrote:

Sorry! I'll tell al my customers to F&%@ OFF and sit here all damn day and answer stupid questions from mental midgets.

OK then. I'll make sure that I ask you a couple every day, just so you don't feel like you're wasting your time



Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 12:57am
You'll go broke doing that Willy

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 1:26am
But you'll have fun doing it


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 7:19am
Works for me.

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Just My opinion


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 9:05am

You should have seen the look on Mrs. Piffleton's face when I told her to F$# off, I had important stupid questions from my industry peers to answer.

Somehow, I don't think this appproach is going to help with my business expansion plans.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 9:11am
Willy: You will have to make sure that each house you clean has internet access just incase you maybe be required to answer a life threatening question about Jack $hit

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Just My opinion


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 9:54am

Ahh- Good idea Doug! Should I insist on DSL or cable?

It's a tough job being a

GURU!



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 10:14am
How do you get the Caramilk out of the carpet?


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 10:22am
Saliva works best for me.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 1:30pm
Willy: I think DSL. That way you can also screen your potential customers?? No DSL?? No Willy????

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Just My opinion


Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 2:04pm
Use the force Willy, use the force.

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 2:48pm
Originally posted by Willy Parsons Willy Parsons wrote:

You should have seen the look on Mrs. Piffleton's face when I told her to F$# off, I had important stupid questions from my industry peers to answer.

Somehow, I don't think this appproach is going to help with my business expansion plans.

Customers are so selfish



Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 10:07pm
It's all Steamer's fault. What with giving them free coupons for pizzas and movies, what will they be wanting from us next????????

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 10:11pm

Originally posted by Willy Parsons Willy Parsons wrote:

Sorry! I'll tell al my customers to F&%@ OFF and sit here all damn day and answer stupid questions from mental midgets.

This has a much better ring to it than industry peers??? Remember you have to be honest about this important matter.



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Just My opinion


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 04/June/2005 at 10:28pm
Ya Doug, stop asking so many questions


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 9:48am
 Keep the questions coming. Don't you guys( whose age and I.Q. are matching) thirst for more knowledge from the "Cup of Willy"? I've had more challenging questions from a kindergarten class.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 9:53am
Willy: the problem is there is never a kindergarten class around when you need one.

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Just My opinion


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 10:42am
I dunno Brudda- Seems there's one here every day.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 11:48am
willy: I think we need a time out???

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Just My opinion


Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 5:36pm
Should I eat the the red ones last???


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 7:45pm

Originally posted by Willy Parsons Willy Parsons wrote:

 Keep the questions coming. Don't you guys( whose age and I.Q. are matching) thirst for more knowledge from the "Cup of Willy"? I've had more challenging questions from a kindergarten class.

Thanks for the compliment. I'm 195 years old



Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 9:26pm

Originally posted by LilNiteRidrhood LilNiteRidrhood wrote:

Should I eat the the red ones last???

 

Depends on whether you want red poo.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 05/June/2005 at 9:53pm

Blue's the new colour Lilniterider.......you have to eat them last now.



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Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 06/June/2005 at 9:00am
Blue poo then.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 06/June/2005 at 9:04pm

But what if I don't want to lust after the hotty in the office????

Oh master Willy show me the way



Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 1:21am
Eat salt peter.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 1:48am
This guy is smart


Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 6:01pm

I said show me the way bud, so eat up!

 



Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 8:47pm
I'd need a 20 year old model to verify the effectivness.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 9:37pm
Who you kidding Willy.........I bet if a 49 year old women bent over in front of you.....wearing only a thong.......you would rise to the occasion.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 9:41pm
Let's send him the calendar


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 9:45pm
  He could use one of those babes as a cushion for his broken bicycle.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 9:54pm
Another missing carpet cleaner


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:08pm
We will have to call in CSI.....and I want to be the first to talk with Grissom

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:12pm
Just talk, eh


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:17pm
If he wants......he can have a sample of my DNA

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Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:20pm

There was this woman today at the gas station who just got off a Harley and had her hot pants half way up her butt. Her cheeks were standing up still and slightly protruding out of the shorts.

My question should I have shown my pleasure?



Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:21pm
DNA?


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:23pm
Always take a chance Lee.....you may never know what will follow.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:25pm
Go for it


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:35pm
First check to see if she was alone.

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Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:38pm
Originally posted by LilNiteRidrhood LilNiteRidrhood wrote:

There was this woman today at the gas station who just got off a Harley and had her hot pants half way up her butt. Her cheeks were standing up still and slightly protruding out of the shorts.

My question should I have shown my pleasure?

Lee what other names do you have for your other body parts? Pleasure. That's orignal?

Guitar

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Just My opinion


Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:41pm

This place is the home of the one liners



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www.mr-steamer.com


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:41pm
He's gotta call it something. Might as well be pleasure


Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:43pm
say if she had a very bad yeast infection??? would it still be pleasure???

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www.mr-steamer.com


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:44pm
Not for long


Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 10:56pm
maybe thats why she was airing her thing out

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www.mr-steamer.com


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:04pm
Doesn't air accelerate yeast


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:07pm
I never knew women had a thing Steamer.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:08pm
It's been called many different names


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:21pm
And changes with every generation.....When you think you've heard it all.....and then along comes....a thing.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:24pm
Not a thing, Her thing


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:30pm
I stand corrected......I also thought a guy had a thing.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 07/June/2005 at 11:32pm
That would be his thing


Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 9:11am
The thing about it is, you never know what thing you are talking about till you see a picture of the thing.

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 10:17am

yes

yes

no

mayber

yes

depends.

Things happen.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 11:25am

Originally posted by Adwa Adwa wrote:

Who you kidding Willy.........I bet if a 49 year old women bent over in front of you.....wearing only a thong.......you would rise to the occasion.

Hitting 49 next Saturday, so it works for me. I had a youngin' a while back let me in and walked around in her alleged panties and an old tshirt. I spent a lot of time on my knees "spotting" and fixing "bulges".. I coulda given her the best ten seconds of my life.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 11:44am
I'm sure it would have been at least 15 seconds


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 1:15pm

Capture that Kodac second?



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Just My opinion


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 1:25pm
If Tommy Lee can do it, why not everyone else


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 5:08pm
Ask Pam???

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Just My opinion


Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 5:34pm

10 seconds?????

You need the little blue pill man.

I hear it "elongates" the time.

I'm not allowed getting the blue pills

Not that I need them of course



Posted By: John L
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 8:26pm

The "Minute Man"..... LOL ! ! !



Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 10:54pm
Originally posted by LilNiteRidrhood LilNiteRidrhood wrote:

10 seconds?????

You need the little blue pill man.

I hear it "elongates" the time.

I'm not allowed getting the blue pills

Not that I need them of course

You need the pills. They've been emailing you, haven't they? Go ahead, order them. Who's gonna know?



Posted By: LilNiteRidrhood
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 11:03pm
I remember the first one of those e-mails I got, I took it quite personally.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 08/June/2005 at 11:13pm
And you've only had 5200 emails since then, right. All from people with different names. It's almost like everyone knows.They've been stalking you


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 12:28am
Originally posted by LilNiteRidrhood LilNiteRidrhood wrote:

10 seconds?????

You need the little blue pill man.

I hear it "elongates" the time.

I'm not allowed getting the blue pills

Not that I need them of course

As long as I'm done - Who cares?



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 12:39am
WILLY     It's ok to think that........but never say it.

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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 12:43am
Hope your wife isn't reading this


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 12:43am
I deserve a spanking.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 12:47am
I would love to help you with that Willy........would you prefer leather or cat tails.

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Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 6:48am
Oh here we go... the Adwa and Cmaster tonight show


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 8:42am

Originally posted by Adwa Adwa wrote:

I would love to help you with that Willy........would you prefer leather or cat tails.

I was thinking a feather duster and a bottle of "whipped" cream. With some chocolate syrup. I've only got one cherry and I plan on preserving that.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 9:33am

Originally posted by MR. STEAMER MR. STEAMER wrote:

Oh here we go... the Adwa and Cmaster tonight show

I think it's the Adwa and Willy show here 



Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 3:22pm
Just Adwa playing with Willy is all.

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 5:22pm
Willy he make it??

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Just My opinion


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 9:22pm
Betty Wont


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 9:45pm
Speaking of Viagra...... Apparently, A trailer truck load was hijacked at the border today. Police are fanning out , searching for hardened criminals.

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Adwa
Date Posted: 09/June/2005 at 11:36pm

[/QUOTE] I was thinking a feather duster and a bottle of "whipped" cream. With some chocolate syrup. I've only got one cherry and I plan on preserving that.[/QUOTE]

Make no wonder Willy you still have a cherry........with your 10 second track recorded......you barley have your foot in the door.



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Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 12:07am
Barely enough time to get a picture


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 1:27am

It's an INTENSE TEN SECONDS!!!!.



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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: Lisa Smith
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 2:14am

Adwa can bring the catails and whips to my house...I'll play with her!

Take care,

Lisa



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Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 8:11am
Can I bring my video camera? I'll direct!

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 9:36am
Get in line


Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 11:26am
From Carpet cleaning to porno all in one thread

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www.mr-steamer.com


Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 12:06pm
All we need now is the Male standin for once the action gets started. Any takers, Steamer?

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Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.


Posted By: Willy Parsons
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 4:10pm
Too short on hose. NEXT!

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Certified to be certifiable.


Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 4:32pm
I got my blue pills handy. Let's go


Posted By: doug
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 5:36pm

Originally posted by Willy Parsons Willy Parsons wrote:

Too short on hose. NEXT!

Willy: Are you saying Mr. Steamer doesn't measure up??



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Just My opinion


Posted By: MR. STEAMER
Date Posted: 10/June/2005 at 6:43pm
I'm a STEAMER CLEANER DAM IT! not a PORNO STAR!!

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www.mr-steamer.com



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